Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize