Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
