WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
