i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
