My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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