I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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