How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
