i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
