miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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