Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't turn off my feet"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
