Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
