i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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