remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
