you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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