It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
