How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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