we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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