they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Houston, we have a squirter
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
