I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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