HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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