Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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