White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
