What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
