Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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