No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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