Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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