What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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