that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
