i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize