you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
