I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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