Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize