I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
