I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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