I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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