Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
