i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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