So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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