for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
