They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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