Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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