Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize