I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
