clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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