So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
