dude i'm inner monologue high
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize