If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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