and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
