i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
