yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
