I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
