This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
