so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
