I wanna passion pit in your ass
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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