there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize