The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
That reminds me...we need to get swords
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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