the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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