Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
