bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
