did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
