White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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