i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
