he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
