Please don't use social media to get back at me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
