he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
