Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize